Euphoria

I feel Euphoric. You know that feeling? It's like no matter how many shit storms you go through at once there's a slight bubble you're consumed in. It's peaceful inside that bubble. so no matter whats going on in the outside- you're perfectly safe and content inside its surroundings. Make sense? Thats how I feel. The boys are almost 2 months old and honestly, there have been trials and tribulations this past month but I'm ok with it. I feel I was really meant to have twins. It comes naturally to me just when I thought I was scared and couldn't handle it. They are my blessings. All of my kids are. I still find myself in shock when thinking I have 4 kids at 25. I wouldn't change it for the world though.

 The girls are great.
  Kayleigh has had it so rough this season. First she got hit with pneumonia that landed her with oxygen and treatments. Just when we thought she was healthy again, the poor thing caught not only an ear infection, but strep throat at the same time. The same time she also lost someone so dear to her- Her great grandmother. It's been a rough ride for her but she is sticking it out like no ones business. She's such a strong girl and I am so proud of her for hanging in there. She is fine now so I'm hoping she doesn't catch anything else. Her little body needs to build immunities again after all that.
  Abigail is a pill. No sugar coating that one. She is the exact replica of me at that age. Tom boyish, rough, and destructive. Oh yes, since moving into this house we have encountered much drawings on all the walls, potted plants being de-leafed and the dirt spread all over the floor, juice all over the walls, markers on the couch- you name it, it's been done and THEN some. I thought having twins would be trying my patience. Nope, leave it to my 2 year old to do that for me. I manage to keep my cool....sometimes. she's hard to handle but she'll come around. Kayleigh did and I have complete faith that she will too. I love that little booger though even though mommy and daddy can no longer have nice things haha.
  Max is getting big. He's my first and only blonde hair,blue eyed fair skinned baby. Beautiful. His personality is adorable. He's demanding. Not so much in the sense that he cries about everything...but he lets you know when he's ready to eat. He weighs about 8 pounds now and filling out. He gave me his first initial smile today also. It was amazing. Max will lift his head when he's on my tummy and look at me :D BUT, his "feed me" cry is the most pitiful thing I have ever seen. He loves being cuddled and hates being put down. I don't mind though- i have enough love and cuddles to go around. Micah understands that.  :D
  Micah is my mellow chunky monkey :D He is a whopping 9 onus 5 ounces now and getting some chuggy thighs-which are my FAVORITE THING! He's perfectly content sitting in his chair and staring off into space or watching me as I talk to him. I'm surprised I have enough breast milk to go around because he does love to eat. Micah's hair is dark brown and his eyes are also brown. He will also hold his head up and look at me for a while. I love this stage...Smiles are starting from both and I love it.

  how's mommy holding up? I am surprisingly. Not an ounce of depression this time around and although I still lack in the sleep department I don't care. I don't lose my patience with both babies crying at the same time because they are my last ones and Im appreciating every little thing I can because I wont get to again. They are my everyday reminders of miracles. Not only because there are two of them but because I believe they were given to me for a reason. Here's what I mean...

13 weeks pregnant and I was told I was not only having two but that they were due november 16,2010.  Such a blessing is two considering I have no twins in my family. I spent months wrapping my head around the reasons why I would be given twins. I was scared and terrified because I had no faith in myself or faith that I could handle 2 more. Months went by and I accepted it. However, I went into labor 6 weeks too early. Why? My pregnancy was perfectly healthy, so why would one small pain turn into full born labor way before I was due? I obviously over analyze everything...I know. But here were these 2 preemie babies in the NICU...not developed in their lungs yet. My heart broke for them. Thankfully they ended up just fine.  skipping ahead- a week into november, my husbands grandma fell ill. No one expected this and being such a tight knit family-it was devastating. She landed in the hospital and as much as we prayed for her to be better, her spirit had other plans. She left us November 16,2010. The day my boys were to be due. had they not been born yet or born a few days before., she would've never had the privilege of meeting them.  I think my due date was a sign. SOunds cheesy but i feel it to be true. Thats why when I look at them, i see their great grandmother in them. Life has so many ways of telling us not to waste a moment or take anything for granted...which is why i enjoy every moment of them right down to their screaming.

in ending, as hard as this month has been with the kids getting sick and the passing of someone very special to us, I feel blessed. everyone is fine and now we are just awaiting the holidays.