For instance,
It seems that as soon as my newly six year old daughter got her ears pierced, she turned into a little lady. She talks so proper and just acts...grown. It makes me smile but also makes my heart breaks a little inside that she's grown so fast. It doesn't seem possible that my first born, my little seven pounder is now 42 pounds and in 1st grade. Her life up until now has been slow motion and I can remember every one of her stages like it was yesterday. As soon as Abigail came along, the world started spinning faster and time slipped from my hands.
Abigail, the chubby buddha baby weighing 9 pounds 6 ounces is somehow...3. Her stages passed me like the snap of my fingers. *SNAP* so quick. Although I remember a lot of her baby-hood too it almost seems that with every kid on board, the faster life seems to go. I mean, I went from 21 to 26 and I still don't know how the hell that happened. Abigail is such a little tom boy and gives me hell. I love it because thats the spitting image of me and what I put MY parents through. Holy hell am I in for a ride when she turns pre-teen. She speaks so well now . Just the other day she said "actually mom" and my mouth dropped. How did my kid learn all this so quickly? Just another one that aged so quickly...it keeps getting more and more depressing that they are entering these new stages and will never look back. No longer will they be my babies but my girls, preteens, teens,graduates, ....sigh...holy...toledo. Just when I think it'll all be ok and I draw in a huge deep breathe...oh yeah, anxiety attack all over again. My boys...they aren't quite my little preemies anymore.
Max- Such a vibrant little boy. the smile that reminds me so much of his older sister, kayleigh. His world revolves around me still. I cant complain because its really NOT that far away that the "I don't need you to do that for me anymore mom" stage will peek from behind the wall. I already see it with max. My once itsy bitsy 5 lb 3 oz preemie is all over the place. He NEEDS to pull up standing on everything and NEEDS to show me he can and will conquer those stairs. If I let him. No. I don't want to . I mean, I do but i don't want him growing up. It's inevitable but none-the-less it'll happen whether I like it or not. Max conquered his sippy cup also just a few nights ago and loves clapping "yay" or waving "hello" every chance he gets to.
Does he need help crawling over to that...heck no, he'll use his brother, Micah as a step stool. Poor micah. He hates that. I don't blame him. I'd hate it if another person my same age crawled on top of me to get to something without my permission. My dear sweet Micah-roni. He is such a lover and I don't think he'll ever be a fighter. He's got his dad in him for sure. Looking at him I see Abigail. Its funny how Max resembles Kayleigh as a baby and Micah resembles Abby. Micah learned temper tantrums and fake cries. Yes, this little theatrical display everyday he knows how to win me over. I spoil my babies. If there is such thing as to spoil a baby...ever. I spoil them with love and cuddles. Because a kid,baby, infant can never get too many snuggles. Micah crawls and follows max everywhere. It's like a train and caboose effect. If i go to the bathroom...there it is peeking out from the corner of the door...the M&M train :D . As cuddly as Micah is , he also has an independent streak of not wanting me to feed him anymore. He wants to do EVERYTHING by himself unless he's just feeling lazy.
You would never think looking at my boys now that they were even preemies to begin with. in 3 days my babies will be 10 months. I hate saying it, i hate seeing it, i hate thinking that my babies are gone and these are the beginnings of them turning into little men. I've survived almost the first year with not only twins...but 4 kids. I feel accomplished. Who can say they've done that at 26? however, my body and soul feels older than 26. Shhh, we wont go there ;) We can go into how I am coping though ....
I am mixed. I have a mixture of emotions running around in my heart. Glad, estatic, blessed,sad, lazy and peaceful. I can break them all down too. None of it depressing in the sense that I'm "alone" because we all know with 4 kids that IMPOSSIBLE! haha (a little humor) . Im glad my kids are all so healthy and wonderful. Estatic that my life has been so BLESSED. I am sad that I will never again have the feeling of meeting a new blessing from inside my womb and holding a newborn to my chest again (until its my turn to be a grandmother). Lazy, well hell Im sure why you could figure out why i feel lazy. wouldn't you??? :D and peaceful because no matter the hardships, I feel on top of the world. I feel like I can do anything, and i will to the best of my ability. So I guess its no where but up from here...New beginnings on new stages. Life is so beautiful. With that said, here are some pictures for you all to enjoy <3
xoxo
Lia & fam
