Christmas Eve and the kiddos

Figured I would be festive for this post and put it in red!


 So here is an update on the boys (and girls of course) :D

I figured it would be neat to post pics from then til now just so you can see for yourselves how much the boys have changed. Let's start with Max <3  


                 

     Out of the NICU

Max Now :

Quite the change, huh? 

His beautiful eyes are blue. He weighs in at 9 lbs 8 ounces with mommies eyes,lips and nose. He's still looking blond haired and he's just precious.

Now for Micah:

Micah Now:

 He's about 10 pounds 8 ounces, brown eyed and got daddy's eyes,nose and mouth. Such a cuddle bunny are both <3


As for the girls:

Ready for christmas!!! 

And as silly as ever <3


I'll update a little more detailed posts after christmas. 


So Happy Holidays everyone!!!!

Euphoria

I feel Euphoric. You know that feeling? It's like no matter how many shit storms you go through at once there's a slight bubble you're consumed in. It's peaceful inside that bubble. so no matter whats going on in the outside- you're perfectly safe and content inside its surroundings. Make sense? Thats how I feel. The boys are almost 2 months old and honestly, there have been trials and tribulations this past month but I'm ok with it. I feel I was really meant to have twins. It comes naturally to me just when I thought I was scared and couldn't handle it. They are my blessings. All of my kids are. I still find myself in shock when thinking I have 4 kids at 25. I wouldn't change it for the world though.

 The girls are great.
  Kayleigh has had it so rough this season. First she got hit with pneumonia that landed her with oxygen and treatments. Just when we thought she was healthy again, the poor thing caught not only an ear infection, but strep throat at the same time. The same time she also lost someone so dear to her- Her great grandmother. It's been a rough ride for her but she is sticking it out like no ones business. She's such a strong girl and I am so proud of her for hanging in there. She is fine now so I'm hoping she doesn't catch anything else. Her little body needs to build immunities again after all that.
  Abigail is a pill. No sugar coating that one. She is the exact replica of me at that age. Tom boyish, rough, and destructive. Oh yes, since moving into this house we have encountered much drawings on all the walls, potted plants being de-leafed and the dirt spread all over the floor, juice all over the walls, markers on the couch- you name it, it's been done and THEN some. I thought having twins would be trying my patience. Nope, leave it to my 2 year old to do that for me. I manage to keep my cool....sometimes. she's hard to handle but she'll come around. Kayleigh did and I have complete faith that she will too. I love that little booger though even though mommy and daddy can no longer have nice things haha.
  Max is getting big. He's my first and only blonde hair,blue eyed fair skinned baby. Beautiful. His personality is adorable. He's demanding. Not so much in the sense that he cries about everything...but he lets you know when he's ready to eat. He weighs about 8 pounds now and filling out. He gave me his first initial smile today also. It was amazing. Max will lift his head when he's on my tummy and look at me :D BUT, his "feed me" cry is the most pitiful thing I have ever seen. He loves being cuddled and hates being put down. I don't mind though- i have enough love and cuddles to go around. Micah understands that.  :D
  Micah is my mellow chunky monkey :D He is a whopping 9 onus 5 ounces now and getting some chuggy thighs-which are my FAVORITE THING! He's perfectly content sitting in his chair and staring off into space or watching me as I talk to him. I'm surprised I have enough breast milk to go around because he does love to eat. Micah's hair is dark brown and his eyes are also brown. He will also hold his head up and look at me for a while. I love this stage...Smiles are starting from both and I love it.

  how's mommy holding up? I am surprisingly. Not an ounce of depression this time around and although I still lack in the sleep department I don't care. I don't lose my patience with both babies crying at the same time because they are my last ones and Im appreciating every little thing I can because I wont get to again. They are my everyday reminders of miracles. Not only because there are two of them but because I believe they were given to me for a reason. Here's what I mean...

13 weeks pregnant and I was told I was not only having two but that they were due november 16,2010.  Such a blessing is two considering I have no twins in my family. I spent months wrapping my head around the reasons why I would be given twins. I was scared and terrified because I had no faith in myself or faith that I could handle 2 more. Months went by and I accepted it. However, I went into labor 6 weeks too early. Why? My pregnancy was perfectly healthy, so why would one small pain turn into full born labor way before I was due? I obviously over analyze everything...I know. But here were these 2 preemie babies in the NICU...not developed in their lungs yet. My heart broke for them. Thankfully they ended up just fine.  skipping ahead- a week into november, my husbands grandma fell ill. No one expected this and being such a tight knit family-it was devastating. She landed in the hospital and as much as we prayed for her to be better, her spirit had other plans. She left us November 16,2010. The day my boys were to be due. had they not been born yet or born a few days before., she would've never had the privilege of meeting them.  I think my due date was a sign. SOunds cheesy but i feel it to be true. Thats why when I look at them, i see their great grandmother in them. Life has so many ways of telling us not to waste a moment or take anything for granted...which is why i enjoy every moment of them right down to their screaming.

in ending, as hard as this month has been with the kids getting sick and the passing of someone very special to us, I feel blessed. everyone is fine and now we are just awaiting the holidays.

30 Days of BLISS!

Special milestones require special font colors! 30 days = green!!!


Today marks exactly 30 days since I went into labor and brought my boys into this world. In hindsight it's interesting knowing and actually experiencing how fast time goes after you have them. They still haven't reached there original due date of november 16, but they are doing wonderful!
   
I finally have the groove of things and I absolutely love being a mom to not only 4, but to twins. It's so much fun. I get to experience all ages with my oldest to the youngest. Yes, I tend to get sleep deprived but it's ok. I just keep telling myself "this to shall pass" on the sleepless nights. The boys eat every 2-3 hours including at night time. Doesn't bother me because babies have to eat. They had 2 doctors appointments already which everything is wonderful! They no longer need oxygen during the day-only during the night time. Max needs to get an Xray on his hips at his 2 month checkup because he was breech. Just to make sure his hips are ok. Been there, done that with Abigail. She was lodged so tight in my pelvis, she had physical therapy FOR MONTHS! actually, it was more like a year...anyways, I've learned a lot about preemies that I never knew before also. For starters, they have to be seen every week for weight gain, have to see an optometrist to make sure their eyes are fully formed/developed, they have to have 5 doses of rsv shots (one a month for 5 months) since they're higher risk..Busy mama, huh?
   Max weighed 5 lbs 3 oz at birth and now weights 6 lbs as of today and Micah went from 5 lbs 13 oz at birth to ....7 pounds! That definitely shows me that they are eating and getting enough! ha. I go through at least 15-20 diapers a day. Gets expensive BUT once I pick up the boys birth certificates i can enroll in special discounts for twins! I'm waiting anxiously for that! 
   The girls are doing wonderfully also! Kayleigh is doing great in school and keeps scoring high on her tests! She's such a smart cookie! She loves her brothers and tries to hold them every chance she gets. Abigail also loves her brothers but of course for a 2 year old, is more concerned about their toys lol. She kisses the boys on their heads and pets them if she hears them crying. I even caught her trying to shove a binky (pacifier) into max's mouth when he started to cry. Both have such nurturing personalities. I know that someday they'll make awesome mommies.


  as for me, my csection site is just about healed. I hate looking at it, but it's a reminder of meeting my boys. The fact that it is so low also doesn't bother me much because it wont be noticeable. Another scar, another story...right? and a beautiful one at that! My 6 week appointment is almost here and that means i'll be able to exercise soon! WOO! I am down almost 30 lbs and just need to rid myself of 30-35 more. I burn 1000 calories a day from breastfeeding alone so I don't think it'll take me too long to get rid of that excess baggage! Although I barely sleep, i feel wonderful and excited to see the kids everyday. It's funny how mommies are programmed to be able to withstand months without proper sleep. Even funnier that we actually love doing what we do. I do. 


so that's my update. 1 month down...cant wait to see new milestones within the next month. Thanksgiving will be so fun and christmas will be special. They are my christmas gifts, all my kids are. I feel like since Ive had them, i don't ever need another gift again because I pretty much have all I want. A happy, healthy BEAUTIFUL family. Who could ask for more than that???




xoxo 
Lia

Max And Micah 18 days old

It's already been 18 days since my lil boys arrived from their womb-ly world to ours. Unbelievable considering it feels like I waited YEARS to grow and meet them. They are absolutely perfect and I can not stop thinking how beautiful they are and can't stop staring at them every second. Babies are such a blessing and to think back that those lil guys were in my tummy 17 days ago is insane. I wonder how the hell they both fit in there! I still don't understand!
  Micah was the first to come home, he was in the NICU for a week exactly and he decided he wanted to come home. So, he bottle fed every feeding and they sent him on his way. For a week I got to snuggle him and learn his personality.  An entire week that he came with me everyday to visit his brother. Let me say out of all my babies, Micah is definitely easy. He never fusses when he poops or when he's hungry and he seems to always be content. This is amusing to me because I have to be the one to wake him for feedings or diaper changes. He was the total opposite in my tummy. he wiggled everywhere and was always so active. I learned him very well and when he was reunited with his brother, it was like the world all came together and he was whole again. The most precious sight I have ever seen...

This was literally within minutes of bringing Max home October 22nd.   The moment I took him and Micah out of their car seats I put them side by side to they could feel each others presence again. That was the reaction. They molded together so quickly and feel asleep holding each other. It melted me in ways I cannot even explain. It's got to be tough having someone grow with you every second in the womb and then having that being taken from you for 2 weeks. They shared everything in my belly and occupied the space together...they were one. Now, they are one again! 
   Max, like I said, came home October 22nd. That was the one of the best minutes of my life. Not having to see my lil guy hooked up to wires/tubes anymore and to actually have him home with us. The moment I had been waiting for since I was pregnant to begin with. Having had Micah home for a week, I already figured him out. Now, it was Max's turn. Boy, he is a character. For him being the reserved one that didn't move much in my belly, he is mellow like his brother but with the exception that he WILL let you know when he is hungry or he has pooped. When he does, it usually wakes his brother and then I have double duty. It's cute. He's just as beautiful as Micah and I love them from here to infinity. Just like the girls. All of them are my world.
   Both boys are pretty much up to their birth weight give or take a few ounces. They are both still on oxygen although it is the lowest grade. Max has blond hair it looks like for now and Micah is dark haired like his mommy :DThe girls love their brothers and are very sweet and nurturing...
    Here are some more pictures :D

       Max is on the right, Micah is on the left <3

The girls with Micah, before Max came home <3

     The boys holding hands!

Micah Sleeping soundly 

   Max wide awake and curious!




 So far, life with twins is great. There's not one bad thing I can say about it, i love it all and I feel entirely blessed that this gift (or shall I say gifts) was given to me. I love every minute, even when I get no sleep and I'm looking like a zombie. To think I was scared is weird because for some reason it all makes sense, my mommy instincts kicked in once again and I enjoy every minute with my boys and of course, my girls. Life is beautiful! <3

Beautiful Gifts

 In case you find yourself wondering what the title means, it's the arrival story of my beautiful boys. I wanted to jot down everything I can remember for something not only to share but something I can look back on a remember as vividly as I can. 
   My last doctors appointment was thursday, October 7th. I didn't talk to my doctor directly, I was scheduled for a full ultrasound scan to evaluate the weight/anatomy & positioning of the boys. This was followed by my weekly non stress test. Now, for a non stress test, this is just them finding the heartbeats of the little ones and placing a heart rate monitor as well as a contraction monitor over my stomach. It measures and counts the movements of them in the womb as well as measures how well they react to my contractions. Fairly simple. It usually last about an hour. This week I noticed it was a bit longer because I had a few big contractions. The boys reacted fine however. The nurse said i was ok to go and also said she would see me next week...if those big contractions didn't take over first :D This gave me the indication that the boys were probably coming soon. How soon, I was NOT expecting...
   Friday was a typical day with a few exceptions. A few days before I was nauseas and feeling not myself. I felt normal thursday but woke up friday in the same kind of funk. No nausea however, but I did feel yucky. Food didn't sound good to me but I made it a point to eat anyways. I found myself wanting to nest and clean the floors but I was also extremely tired. More than usual. Every so often I noticed myself getting an occasional side cramp kind of feeling on my left side that would hang there for a few minutes then disappear. Not the typical contraction I was ever used to so I ignored it. It only happened 3 times if that all day and not really close together. No biggie. I had a hard time remembering a true sign of labor anyways since my water never broke by itself and I haven't gone into labor since...well kayleigh back in 2005. Abigail was different since I was induced so it was hard knowing signs of what to look out for besides the obvious.
   My husband has a job that has a lunch break everyday from 230-4:30pm then he heads back to work until about 930-945. Unpleasant shifts but someone has to work. He was heading out to work about 4:10 and I was planning on taking the girls to blockbuster to grab a few rentals to enjoy on a friday night. Especially since on fridays, he works until 1030 so we needed something fun to make time pass. He left, I got everything ready to go, we headed out the door when suddenly i was hit with the worst strong,sharp pain in my left side next to my belly. It scared me because I couldn't walk, breathe,talk,lay down without it going away. I thought it felt like an intense version of a walking cramp + sciatica mixed in one. I also thought it would go away so, I ran by the bank drive through before it closed thinking it would be gone in a sec and the boys just shifted wrong. I got to the drive through and the pain intensified. Something wasn't right. You can automatically tell when something isn't right either when it's your own body...the thing that sucked the most is by the time I received that feeling, I was stuck in the line with someone behind me and someone in front of me. I had to wait 15 minutes to get out of there and head home. Driving was intense so I brought myself right home and kept telling my husband to come get us.
   He had a hell of a time trying to get off work so I called family and tried to see what the possibilities were of someone grabbing the girls and i and dropping us off at the hospital. Meanwhile doing this I was lying down on my couch HOPING the pain would go away if i swifter weight. I had to be brave in front of kayleigh because she was worried about me and any sign of me in any pain, she would flip. I couldn't have that because then it's just 3 females freaking out. I couldn't do that to them. I managed to get jared to get his butt home and come get us. About halfway to the hospital my pain shifted and radiated from my side to my uterus...shit, I was having contractions and they were about 6-8 minutes apart. Well, this just might be it.
   We go in, they monitor me like a non stress test for about an hour and see that they were indeed contractions. My parents came and got the girls,took them home with them overnight and the nurse was off calling my doctor. He wasn't a fan of me delivering just yet since I was only 34 weeks and 3 days. He wanted me to hold off for two weeks at most so they gave me a muscle relaxer called pericardia (spelling?) so relax my uterus and stop contractions. They also decided to give me a steroid shot in my thigh (worst shot ever, it burned so bad) to speed up the babies lung development should I go back into labor the next week. I stayed on the monitor for about an hour and a half and the contractions started not being as frequent but intense when they were around. We all figured it was doing it's job until about 30-40 more minutes later my contractions were practically starting to be back to back and pretty knarly. Mind you, I haven't had any pain meeds from the whole time it initially started till about 9pm at this time. here's a picture of my contractions...the bottom green mountains are them and you can see exactly how intense they were:

   The nurse looked a bit concerned and said she was going to call the doctor again to see where it was going to go from there. He came in, did a mini ultrasound to see where the boys were so I could choose what labor I wanted to go with if that were the case. My baby A, typically the lowest one,was and had been head down for 2-3 weeks; decided he was going to not engage in my pelvis anymore but let his breech brother instead. SO, after thinking for weeks I had a choice in either a vaginal delivery or a csection...it came down to one thing only. Baby B was the lowest one and he was feet first so a csection it was. I was a bit scared since that's the one thing i was trying NOT to get...The plan? hold out on my contractions until I absolutely needed any meds. That was the sign that i was having those babies after all and that they would hook me up and wheel me in. 
   Sure enough 930 rolled around and it was completely unbearable. 5 1/2 hours of contractions and NO medications takes its toll on people. Especially nerves. I felt like screaming at the nurses to give me some "fucking drugs" I was going nuts. Which was amusing to my husband because I've NEVER been like that during any labor. He doesn't realize at that moment that I couldve easily strangled every nurse and given myself a shot of morphine...anything to stop it lol. They told the doctor I demanded drugs and couldn't tolerate contractions any longer without (which were about 1-3minutes apart by then and never died down, just went into the next contraction) The brought in my lovely stylish cap, had me take out all my facial/body jewelry and told jared it was time for a csection and to change. He did just that super quick. within 10 minutes I was wheeled into the O.R. and jared had to wait outside till I was given a spinal tap. Man that stuff is amazing by the way. Instantly i was numb from the chest down and felt like heaven. They strapped my arms out and hooked me up to monitors and made me a nice little "tent" to cover me and hubby from seeing anything. Then it all started.The only thing that will never go away in my head is the smell of my own cooking flesh. Not pleasant. It only lasted a second until they made an incision then all i could feel was light tugging. Then I heard Max (mr.feet first) Max decided to mark his territory and pee all over the doctor as he came out apparently. That's my boy. haha. They dried him off and started performing an apgar etc on him like normal. Then came Micah who was also pissed and didn't want to come out yet. 
    Out of all things I felt i couldn't handle in life, the worst feeling is hearing your babies cry and not being able to hold them,see them or touch them. Jared got to participate while i laid there like chopped liver. It was hell. Ive waiting months to see them and dreamt endlessly of holding them and here I was...strapped down and not able to do either. It was hell. I was a wreck at that point and couldn't stop crying. They let jared carry Max to the NICU and they wheeled Micah back as well as I was left in the room being fixed up. I didn't see anyone for about an hour and a half, then jared came back. I had to spend about an hour and a half in this enclosed room while the nurses filled out paperwork and checked on my numbness. Finally on the way out i begged to get them to push me by the NICU so i could see my boys. I saw them but couldn't touch them since they were hooked to breathing monitors called CPAP. which is forceful oxygen to get them to breathe better. Max, who weighed the smallest at 5 pounds 3 ounces was having trouble breathing on his own while his brother was doing better but still needed it. Micah was 5 pounds 13 ounces and a bit healthier. Both were ok though. I lost it on the otherhand. They pushed me back into my room where I still was crying because I wanted to fix them and make them all better. I felt guilty for not holding them in longer...
   I wasn't able to see them again until 10 am the next day. I got to hold them and man I was instantly in love all over again. They are both so precious and doing much better with the oxygen. It doesn't need to be forced into their lungs anymore they are working on doing the breathing themselves. The nurses said they are pleased but that it can always change so I should expect them to be in NICU for at least a few weeks. Such a hard thing to grasp knowing that you can go home in 3 days and you cant bring your babies. So I'm bummed about that. I know they are getting the best care though and as selfish as I am for wanting them home to myself-i have plenty of time to do that after they get healthy themselves. That's most important. 
   So that's my long birth story and where I am standing at as of right now. I will be leaving by monday and my boys cant come with. Now, I have to schedule me coming down and snuggling them a well as bringing them breastmilk for them to get them started on feeding. This will be a bit tough but in the end i am so thankful that they came out safely. I already love them more than the world and am ready to start this new chapter and including these little sweet peas in our everyday family life. 
I'll keep you updated if that's what you'd like. If not, i'll still keep myself updated so I can always look back at their progress. Now, I should probably sleep. It's almost 130 am and I have not been so good at that part. 






xoxo 
Lia, Jared,Kayleigh,Abigail 
 Max and MIcah!






   

My boys

Update on their weight after todays appointment!!!


Baby A: 5 lbs. 11 oz! flipped, head down and low into the pelvis


   Baby B: 5 Lbs. 5 oz! breech, and will stay that way most likely


Non Stress test was great. had a few strong contractions so I might not be pregnant for long!!!




:D


Ready to meet my boys.

Showing signs at 34 weeks!

It's a bit funny seeing myself go from this (24 weeks)

TO...

Voila! This...34 weeks. 

Wow, look at that expansion.Such a huge difference. I still find myself wondering everyday how the HELL they even fit two in there? They must be super uncomfortable and contorted...poor lil guys. It's fascinating that the human body can make more human bodies...and they are grown in a belly...Is it weird that that stuff amuses me? Meh....It's the miracle of life.

If you haven't noticed in the last pic...I have dropped.Here are some more from earlier last week to see if there is a visual difference...

Above was only 33 weeks. I grew out a ton in one week!

and this...was 32 weeks. *sigh*

I'm really not too sure at this point how much further my stomach can go/stretch. I however have a feeling, I am about to find out. With the dropping of my boys, I have only felt one thing darn close to this feeling...when Abigail dropped. Seeing as i am carrying roughly around 9-9 1/2 lbs OF baby not including the placenta(s) and the liter EACH of amniotic fluids i can uncomfortably say This is extremely painful. The dropping happened about 11 a.m. on saturday...out of no where. One minute i was standing/walking/sitting just fine, the next minute I couldn't do any of those things without wanting to scream. It felt like they were going to fall out. It's what a lot of people describe as carrying a huge watermelon between their legs...that's how you end up walking.Nothing I have read had explained the pain of carrying multiples when they drop though. I have a small build, and my frame does not feel like it can hold this for very much longer. 

              With the dropping also came some mild cramping etc. I've not been able to sleep more than 1-2 hours at a time at night and have trouble/pains rotating from one side to the other at night. I haven't really been too hungry because it just seems like my appetite has ceased minus a few snacks and small meals throughout the day. I experience more frequent braxton hicks contractions that last longer than i have been having but nothing too close to consider real labor yet. I have also been frequently urinating, which is more proof they dropped. I haven't had to get up during the night to pee during the whole pregnancy...until two nights ago. After googling, since googling is like my besets friend, I read that most of those symptoms are indeed symptoms that are getting my body ready for the big day. It can happen at any time and as excited as I thought i would be to get them out, I am scared shitless for the labor and now kind of want them to stay in. 

 Baby A is finally head down (thank god) since he likes to squirm and sit in various positions. Baby B however, is breach. Which sucks because he hasn't changed and to be honest, with multiples there really isn't time to change so he will probably (unless a miracle happens) will stay that way.Bummer. This gave me the most difficult thing to decide on:

 1. Opt for a csection 

2. Try vaginally but deliver baby B feet first

now, the csection isn't bad, so I've heard. However, resting and healing from that would be VIRTUALLY impossible with 2 kids under the age of 6 and twin boys added to the mix. the delivering of the baby feet first scares me. It's a risky procedure and if done wrong or if baby shift, they could possibly damage my boys spinal cord. 

so...What would you choose? Opt for a csection with baby B or try both vaginally? Personally I'm stuck on this decision because I DONT want my boys hurt. Period. I also don't like the thought of my stomach muscles never being the same again and being sliced and diced open THEN trying to recover whilst taking care of 4 kiddos...but when it comes down to it, It's not time for me to be selfish. As long as they are ok, that's all that matters. I'm guessing this is my mind telling me I am to opt for a csection. 

With all that said, I mentioned earlier I haven't had a huge appetite. My cravings are really minimal and really only one thing comes to my mind all day, every damn day. Rootbeer. I have to have it. No idea why. I drink my tons of water still but when it comes down to it, mama needs her rootbeer too. Not much else has me drooling. I'm pretty much over the food thing right now. Although, i do make sure I eat. :D

did I mention I gained 2 lbs. in a week. 2! From what??? I have no idea...hopefully the 2 lbs were divided and went to each boy equally lol.

So that's my update. I have no idea when I'll be able to update again. If i will be pregnant for my 36-37 weeks update...no one knows. I'm going day by day. Heavy nesting and packing the bags for the hospital. They really can come any time. Either way, I'm excited to write my next update a few weeks from now regardless. I might even be able to redesign it with my new boys. We will just have to wait and see. 3 cheers for the waiting game!!!!

xoxo

Lia

32 weeks and pain is an understatement

30 weeks vs.32 weeks

Can you tell why exactly my hips are hurting? They've shifted downward and out...compared to two weeks ago!

-I've completely outgrown all shirts (minus a few).

-My hips feel dislocated

-The arches in my feet feel like they're breaking

-I am a walking furnace.

-My belly is a never-ending itchy

-Finally got some stretch marks! (not bad though)

- I am peeing 20 times a day

-I have to force myself to eat a decent sized meal

-I cannot breathe very well and have frequent anxiety attacks

-I am a hormonal maniac!

There's some key things I am going through right now...Sounds pleasant doesn't it? ON the other hand, I am moved in to our new house. It's lovely and the girls love it. I am constantly telling myself to rest now though because every little misplaced toy or mess and I go into OCD cleaning mode. I can't be doing that. It's ok to have a little mess for now...32 weeks and technically I could go into labor in 3+ weeks. 

I go to the doctors now every week for an ultrasound/non stress test and to evaluate and keep a track of the boys' weights since I have a high concern of having 9 pounders...

Today was one of the appointments, the next is sept.29th. As of right now though twin A is 4 lbs 4 oz and the other lad is 3 lbs 11 oz. not too far behind and good sized babies. Now is the time I will hopefully NOT be doing some serious weight gaining...I have 10 more pounds to go till i hit my target weight. 10! which I have to learn to put the cookies down. seriously. haha. The boys are now gaining fat and filling out every week. This is getting insanely surreal. The fact that they are almost here has me in a panic attack everyday. These are the last few weeks that we will be a family of 4...my two princesses have NO idea what's coming...

As for cravings right now I really have a few and one of them is coffee. Still, i always want noodles. That's really about it. 

I have a hard time sleeping and haven't experienced good sleep in I don't know how long. My arms always fall asleep and hurt so bad during the night so that wakes me up. ALong with my never empty bladder and hip pains. I cant rotate from one of my sides to the other without a huge POP and pain afterwards...no bueno! I just keep telling myself to enjoy my last pregnancy. This one is tough though and no where near like it was with the others.

We chose names...I'm debating on telling everyone till after though because i want it to be a surprise  and it'll seem more real that way. That's really all there is to my pregnancy as of right now...I'm tired, anxious and just ready to meet the occupants that have been living in my stomach for so long. Hopefully i can gather enough energy to make a video soon..but with the exhaustion that I have had lately, I don't know if that's possible...we shall see. <3 until another day

xoxo

Lia

2 Days shy of 30 weeks!

HOLY CANOLI! I am almost done! technically 10 more weeks till full term. However, since full term doesn't happen often with multiple pregnancies, I can honestly go anytime in the next 5-10 weeks. Goodness thats insane. I cant believe i've made it to this point already. I'm still sane too! Well, for the most part. 
   Everyone who's had a child knows exactly how difficult the last two or so months are. They are miserable, long, and exhausting! This is the moment where I start gaining a pound or so a week. With that also comes the edema (swelling) of the feet, extra large belly, slowness if that's even a word, and being just plain uncomfortable all day and during the night. Sounds like fun, right? This is the most challenging part of the pregnancy. The finish line till you get to see your reward. As horrific as it sounds, its the best feeling and totally worth every stretch mark, swollen toe and finger and every pound gained when you finally get to hold the new addition. in my case, new additions! :D I'm trying to enjoy this last half seeing as it is my last pregnancy. It's a bit bittersweet. I am relieved it's the last time but also sad that I wont again ever have little babies in the household after these two. I hope it goes slow so I can enjoy newborns for the last time till I am a grandmother (NOT even a thought in my mind FOR A WHILE!!!!!!!!) or an aunt again!! ;)
-With that bit of jibber jabber, Here is my current belly:

   

Beautiful isn't it? I quit telling myself that I am huge because lord knows I hear it every day I leave the comfort of my home. No joke. It's unreal how many people will actually have the balls/guts to come up to me and actually say this " Oh my god honey, I feel so sorry for you. I hope you don't have too much longer to go." Yes, that was a real comment. Who says that? even better, who says they feel sorry for you when your pregnant? I always feel like turning around and decking somebody when they say things. SO, that's why I try to make it a point to tell myself I look beautiful. I avoid mirrors on my lower extremities and stop worrying that my shirt size is xl or that my feet are swollen and that I feel miserable. Because when it comes down to it, being pregnant is beautiful. Who cares what I feel like as long as I can give my babies everything in as well as out of the womb. Right? 

  with all that said lets skip ahead and finally talk about my symptoms and cravings 

Symptoms: 

Lower back pain

Sore hips

Mild edema

Trouble breathing

Exhaustion (spelling?)

Increased clumsiness

On and off appetite changes

Hard time sleeping

Frequent urinating- more so than before

Cravings:

Nachos

Rootbeer

Cereal

Jelly donuts

Milk

Coffee

Clemintines

Lobster

Steak

Oodles of noodles

-I have a feeling after fully listing my cravings that the "gain a pound a week" rule wont work for me. But I am eating everything in moderation and sadly I cant and have not been able to have a full hearty meal. There is no room! 

   About my boys:

I just had my baby shower yesterday. It was thrown by my sister. The turnout was not too bad. I always hate/stress about baby showers because i always have at least 3 people tell me they will be there, then flake out. Because of that, i was mega worried that I wouldn't get near to anything that I really truly needed. I was right. I had 7 ladies show up and about 5-6 ladies who flaked out when they rsvp'd. That hurt my feelings but regardless I was happy of the people who came to celebrate my boys with me. I got quite a few things but am still mega stressed because the main things I needed I actually didn't get. So money is a huge factor right now. By the way we are moving saturday. between paying bills and rent I am scared that we wont be able to afford the things for the boys. Somehow we will manage. Nestng just sucks. 

   Anyways so yes, just about 30 weeks and the boys are getting bigger by the day! They should measure at about 17 inches from head to toe and both weigh about 3 lbs now.  Right around now they will start to turn head down and stay there (hopefully) until labor.It's getting pretty crampy in there and not a lot of room so I feel them roll more than kick and jab now and its hard to distinguish who is doing what. As long as they keep moving we are perfect. :D

    In ending, I have an ultrasound/appointment on the 13th.After we move in, I will do a video showing the nursery and talk more in depth about the boys and such. Like I said, we move saturday. This means the internet will be gone friday and i can only use it on my phone till we set it up again :D Hope this entertains you until you hear from us again, thank you for following me on this journey!!!!

xoxo

Lia

27 weeks +3 Days

Doctor's appointment was again successful today! Went in for another ultrasound and then a follow up :D
  The boys are looking very good! Both weigh 2 lbs. 5 oz each and are neck and neck in the length/size measurements so they are doing perfect! They are laying like a ying-yang exactly and looked really cramped in there!!! Twin A (the lower lying one) really doesn't like to show his face...ever. Every time we go in for an ultrasound he must sense it because he starts hiding and no one has seen his face yet!!! I wanna see the profile so bad, it's killing me!!!!On the other hand, Twin b is a spotlight kinda guy. He loves posing and we found him smiling ALOT into the screen today. We even got a glimpse of him opening his mouth really wide! 


                             Baby B

He's smiling!

                                          




         Baby A (If you look closely you'll see his head on the left)

   I've gained a total of around 40 lbs and it's still pretty much all baby and padonky! I have about 5 lbs. total of baby weight right now and the doctor said I was measuring about full term size for a singleton pregnancy. Makes me hella nervous for the next two months if I'm already that big. Like I said in earlier entries- Once I hit 30 weeks I am definitely not going to be seen by anybody...I don't want anymore comments on how huge I am...I really cant stress that enough. I don't ever want to hear how big I am again.really.


   Ok so more on the bouncy,healthy baby boys!!!
this week they can see light and hear sounds just like last week! I have 88 days left until my fullterm pregnancy is complete. Hiccups are more frequent and noticeable now and I actually have been feeling them from twin B all week!!!! It's like a non stop timed twitch. In the next few weeks though he will gain fat to fill out their appearance and the immune systems are still maturing :D


On the ultrasound it was neat seeing how big they are now compared to 23 weeks.


Now to me and my changes/cravings/peeves...whichever!!! lol


-I am not really swelling besides in my fingers
-I am sick of food. SOunds weird but nothing this week sounds yummy,everything sounds disgusting
-My hips hurt during the night or if I lay too long on my left side
-Still have complete numbness of both arms occasionally during sleep
-My sleep schedule still sucks, I've been waking up around 3-4 times.
- My lovely shirts no longer fit because my belly is falling out of them lol
-I have been craving non stop beer, which is ok because as of today my doctor said I can drink O'douls!!!! This sadly, makes me excited because Ive, like i mentioned, been craving it everyday!!!!
-I cant put shoes or socks on because i cant even reach them!
-I am done working in 3 more shifts
- i am tired yet again...quite frequently especially since my oldest is now in school.
-I waddle like no ones business
-my hips are sore
-All I want for breakfast/lunch/dinner is either egg sandwiches (weird, i know) and captain crunch cereal. That really cant be healthy for my waistline!


                                 My belly

My feelings this month are...anxiety ridden. With work coming to an end I'm worried about affording bills as well as the new house (which we move into in a little more than 3 weeks. I am stressed about packing, what TO pack/what to sell and mostly meeting and taking care of these babies. Everyone says it'll be ok or that I will do just fine...but that doesn't necessarily mean i will or that I can do it and satisfy my other kids "mommy needs". There's got to be a reason that I am having twins to add to my already hectic life.i am terrified. No one knows this feeling either except those who have multiples. So, i end up bottling it all up inside and trying to enjoy the time i do have with my girls before life gets even crazier. this is why I am full of anxiety. Not even my husband can understand it.
 Hopefully next week i'll be better...until we move and set up everything perfectly it probably wont lol
On a side note- Im debating on belly pictures with my updates. If you like them, i will do them. :D
My next ultrasound is in 3 weeks. after my baby shower and the day before (literally) that we move. I wont have internet right away so this update will have to do until I can get set up at the new place.Thanks so much for reading and i'll talk to you all soon!!!


xoxo
Lia

Emo...tional

My oldest starts kindergarten tomorrow. I went tonight and met her teacher & saw her classroom. This is going to be such an emotional day. I was looking around the classroom and saw all the things she'd be learning...it made me proud but sad that she won't be hanging around with me all day. She'll love it, and she'll make good friends but it's just surreal how big my first born is. Next is first grade...then eventually middle school. 
  It'll be quite a shock to make her dad wake up with me at 6:45 and get lil kayleigh butt up for school and there by 7:50. that's friggan early. Even for me!!!
   What's also cute is that she'll have gym class, every other day. That little stinker doesn't realize how worn out she will be by the end of the night...especially with gym class!!! It was so cute. I am such a proud mama...but tomorrow marks the first day of my beautiful first child growing up and starting school. Let's see how I hold up. 
<3

26 weeks +2 Days

Welp, I made it so far and obviously I am carrying larger than 2 weeks ago. I have 96 days (not that I'm counting or anything) days until I am 40 weeks. Although, I have a feeling that I won't be carrying that long... 
   I'm sure you're thinking something to the effect of "damn, you've gotten so big, I bet your back is killing you right now..." Yes, It sure is. I can't stand on my feet in one spot for longer than 8-10 minutes. Otherwise the lower mid part of my back is in pain. Also, My lovely sciatic nerve is bothering me EVERYDAY again. I can't even sit down indian style or with my legs directly in front of me without getting stuck there for a moment when I try to move/get up. It shoots all the way down my leg and causes me to freeze. Little boogers must think it's funny to sit on that nerve but It's horrible!
  Work will end in exactly 6 more shifts for me then I'm finito for...well let's say a long while. Which, I am ok with because I need to give all my kids as much love as I can. Sheesh, I feel like the 19 kids and counting lady by saying "all my kids" .Thankfully, this is the LAST pregnancy and I am no longer lending my uterus out for rent anymore. 
    Movement is insane. It feels like they fight each and every day. It starts with one of them slightly moving a limb them BAM it's a full on kickboxing tournament in there. It's pretty amusing to watch my belly  move like ocean waves and shift numerous times during the battle for space. That is, until one of them does a running jump on my bladder. Then, it's a race to the bathroom LOL. They feel pretty strong already and I can definitely tell the one laying closest to my lungs is going to be energetic, just like kayleigh was/is. 
   My sleep cycle is terrible right now. Worse than my last update, I wake up about 4 times a night. From various things like charlie horses, stiff legs, sore hips, hunger, and just plain i dunno...
I know my body is pretty much preparing for me to wake up around that many times when the boys come so I guess it's better to get used to it now although, i'd love to have 1 peaceful nights sleep. I look terrible with my eye circles taking over. Makeup is now a must when I leave the house.
   My hunger has gotten insane. You know when you read those vampire books and they describe this hunger being really intense and overpowering?? Not to relate to a vampire by any means, but that's the best way to describe how I feel about food. It feels like i literally HAVE to eat all day (small snack remember) in order to make the boys happy. Which is ok by me, only sort of tiring when I am trying to rest and not necessarily good for the bank account.
   My feet haven't been swelling nearly as much this week so far but I've been doing my best to prop them up all the time as much as I can to prevent the whole edema thing. Normally, like with the girls I had edema terribly bad. When I carried Abby, it was the worst. This time round I can actually still see my ankles (for now) and my legs are about the same size. Its just the rear and belly that are growing. 
   Heartburn/Indigestion is still terrible and on some days I feel like I have a fire in my throat that lasts for up to 4 hours. Nothing helps. I'm getting used to it although I don't think that's a good feeling to get used to. ha.
  My circulation is definitely off. I cant bend my arms without them going to sleep and losing circulation quickly. I'll have to get that checked because I've never experienced it before and it freaks me out. Especially when I am trying to sleep and I wake up with 2 dead arms...


 I spotted a faint line of the "linea Negra" down my belly last week. I was sad to see that stinker return since I loathe it so much. If you do not know what that is, it's basically a dark pigmented line that goes from the top of your belly button all the way down to the pubic bone. Slightly unattractive if you ask me and it makes me feel like I have a happy trail (like on a man)...Luckily it disappears after a few months post delivery. It hasn't gotten much darker, it's till pretty faint for right now but just the sight of it coming back made me sad lol. I also found like a cm stretchmark on my belly. I knew that would happen but it's ok- I'll still keep lathering up on vitamin E oil 2x a day and I should hopefully prevent more to come around. :D
   Now, about the babies and enough about me-
The boys should be about 2-2.3 lbs a piece. Pretty good growth considering I'm only 26 weeks and about 13 inches long. They can now open their eyes in the womb.The boys can turn their heads away if something appears brighter in some spots than others :D &The Brain and lungs are much more developed. I don't know if I said this in the last post, but they can officially hear me as well as outside noises...like My girls screaming. I bet that's scary! I do find myself singing to them (cheesy I know) But I want them to get used to the music i listen to or like so when they're born they can be soothed by it.  
   I'm getting really excited to meet them, but nervous as hell for labor. Yes, I know how a singleton labor is but adding another one to possibly push out the va-jayjay is somewhat a scary thought...to say the least. Then there's the dreaded csection. I'm not scared about that- I just don't want to have to try and recover from that when I have two kids (one in kindergarten and the other a mess maker)..I don't think that would call for a speedy recovery if I'm having to hold both boys in my arms and chase abby down the hall telling her to put something down...sheesh, could you imagine? So hopefully I can push them both out. I shouldn't think so hard on that one though...it'll happen the way it's supposed to.
   Anyways, enough of my blabble- I pretty much talked about all my symptoms in the beginning and then a lil something informational about the boys development in the last half. I have a doctors appointment on the 20th for another ultrasound and the dreaded strep B test...Yuck.
   Until then, I say farewell :D
xoxo
Lia

24 weeks and 2 days.

-This month is severe growing time...I'm talking "big MAMA " status now. Even what my husband likes to call, "panda bear". Cute right? Way Better than "damn huge elephant woman!" 
   Since my last post, Quite a few things have been changing with the boys, and no so much me :D To start they should weigh about hmmm, I'm going to guess and say 1.6-1.8 pounds each. Terrific growth! They should be about the size of corn on the cob, which makes me wonder every day how the hell they are fitting into such a tight space...but that explains the uncontrollable bladder. 
-This week alone the babies have rapidly developing senses and are able to sense upside down and vice versa. They can also hear my voice as well as others...Like my daughters/husbands!  This would be the perfect time to start singing and reading to them although,I always felt weird doing that part so I just cranked up the music I loved and hoped they would do a jig or learn to love what I love as well. They are also producing "surfacent" if that's spelled right. This is like an oily substance that will help expand their lungs and kick start them once they are out of my tummy :D It's just amazing the many transitions and things they go through just to bake perfectly :D


   As for me this week, I finally had what us preggy people or already existing mothers like to call...Sausage toes. I am no longer able to stand for long periods of time or walk without getting those beautiful puppies. Ha, beautiful my butt. So uncomfortable! Gladly, I can officially stop working august 30th. Sounds way far away but I need to try to pay down my bills before husband has the job of doing so...oh and buying all the baby stuff.Sheeeesh, I always forget how expensive that stuff is.
 OFF subject, sorry...lol
where was I? Oh yeah...
I can breathe, but I tend to get short of breath a lot and feel my blood pressure go up. I need to keep it down so I don't have to end up doing the dreaded bed rest. Especially since that is virtually impossible with 2 kids already! 
  I also have a terrible symptom I don't recall with my girls. That is my arms going numb when I sleep at night. Weird right? I can't seem to figure out why this is. Bad circulation? Doubtful. Could it be part of carpal tunnel syndrome? VERY likely considering I've had that twice with both girls. Never the numbness though. We'll have to wait till my next appointment to see :/


Here are some other ongoing symptoms I still have though :
Round ligament pain
leg cramps at night
Glow of pregnancy
Change in sexual desire...TMI..sorry LOL
Hearty Appetite
Sleep Changes
Fatigue
Heartburn like a bitch.
Now elephant feet
Spine curving due to my huge Padonky.


other than that, everything else is a piece of cake. MMmmm cake, why do I do this to myself!


Cravings this week
Obviously that scrumptious cake
Milk
Soda Soda Soda
Popcorn
STEAK!!! I need it. 


not too much different than other times...
My next appointment is...very soon. Another ultrasound as well as checkup. :D Until my 25th week, I'll talk to you all later!!!


xoxo



  

It's finally done!

As Much as I love throwing birthday parties for my lil princesses, It gets tiring and stressful!!!
Luckily, That day was yesterday. It's over and done with now but the turnout for the girls was awesome and the party was successful!
   I tried to sleep in for once (HA!) Saturday morning, but I was woken up by a really quiet, small voice singing something to the sorts of..."Today we are going to art sports for my birthday party..." right next to my ears! I turned around and noticed my now 5 year old, kayleigh all dressed with shoes AND socks ready to rock the day out...
 "Kayleigh ,hunny...what're you doing?? It's only 8:30?!" To which then she proceeded to remind me yet again that it was the big day!!! So cute. It's funny, I cant get them dressed fast enough for anything else, but hell- when it's a bday party I can expect them up earlier than me. Adorable.
   The party wasn't until 4pm, so we just hung out and went to lunch before. Abigail didn't want to take a nap. I didn't think that was a good idea, but then again the other mommy part of me wanted to wear her out for an early bedtime. Is that wrong? Poor munchkin! she is so persistent and did not fall asleep once...
   Once we got there-kayleigh and Abigail were both ready to play play play!! I had to stop them and get everything organized and situated. The kids from her class started showing up, one by one...How exciting considering past bday parties with my kayleigh were a fail and no kids showed. That warmed my heart to see her so happy to see some of her friends from school. They both started running around, ready to go jump on trampolines and fall into pits of foam (totally fun if i wasn't an elephant) . They played with their friends for about an hour and a half then it was time for cake and the much awaited...presents!!!
   The two didn't care for food much because hell, being a kid the only thing that matters is presents...who cares about food unless it's cake!
  So they went at it,and got loaded on some really cute things. Thank god (emphasizing this part) that we cleaned out kayleighs room beforehand and rid the room of unwanted,unloved toys...Because now..we are going to have to reload it with all her baby dolls etc! Insane how spoiled kids are!

  Anywho, needless to say the girls had a wonderful day. I am thrilled that they did but also very worn out. It was worth every minute to see them smile and have fun though. :D Now, that July is officially over, the next big thing I really am awaiting is the day I pop these lil ninja boys out...November 16th. That is, if I don't go beforehand.<3

xoxo
Lia

23 weeks +2 days

My appointment was today!
   Woke up at 630 to get everyone out the door on time. I was scheduled to do an anatomy ultrasound, glucose test, and follow up with my doctor! Everything went great. I watched my sons squirm and fight already! Son B was kicking Son A in the head...I guess that means sibling rivalry is starting early after all!
    The reason behind not saying names yet is because we are in the process of still choosing the best possible names for our sons. It's harder than you think. To find something that will stick with them for the rest of their lives is difficult because you don't want something that can cause them to be made fun of and you want something that fits the family perfect. Nicknames also have to be picked out with both to make sure they don't sound dumb as well. For instance Kayleighs nickname is Kaybear, Abigails nickname is Abby or Abby jae. They fit perfectly.
     Besides finding their names, I already got to see their shiny little faces. Son B was up by my lung area and was more than willing to give us the perfect side profile. He has his daddy's nose already. I can see it.

and son A (the lower sitting son) wasn't too sure he wanted to be seen yet...He was being shy. However, he did decide to show a part of his personality already by grinning at the screen like he was saying "HA HA" Like I said, you'll have to look closely, his face is on the left :D

Can you see it? My boys seem to have a since of humor already!

They both weighed great! one at 1 lb. 5oz and the other one 1 lb. 3 oz. So not too different which is perfect.

before the ultrasound I had to guzzle down the not so yummy  glucose drink. Yuck! Thank god they've added more flavors to their selection compared to 5 years ago. I had to literally chug it before I went in and then wait an hour for them to draw blood. Let me just say that this pregnancy does not like sweet things...at all. Besides the cake,chocolate I mean. The fact that I had to consume it within that time limit as well at 830 am almost made me hurl. But...it's over and done with now. Hopefully good results, considering multiple pregnancies tend to have mommies carry high blood pressure or diabetes. :/

It's always nice seeing the growth and knowing everything is going smoothly. I noticed pregnant people tend to worry a lot AKA Me. What better a gift than to see my two boys play/fight on the ultrasound tv today for my anniversary!   

Nothing much has changed minus my circumference yet again. I popped out into what my sister in law and I call a torpedo shape. I cant wear much of the same clothes and I am burning up in this weather. My hips hurt really bad at night during my CRAPPY sleep and although I still use a preggy pillow, it doesn't seem to help in most cases. My meal portions have been cut down to snack portions and I can no longer eat a huge meal. Otherwise horrible indigestion will accrue and what feels like acid reflux. I haven't swelled up anymore and  total weight gain is 21 lbs. Not too shabby. And that my friends is my update!!!

I'd better go snack on something now so the lil stinkers can continue to grow, I'll update soon!

xoxo

Lia